Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Disturbance in the Slumber

So here's an interesting little story I have to share with you tonight. It's 11:45 pm. Almost midnight. I am sitting here in front of my laptop trying to stay awake. I know I should be sleeping considering that I am forcing myself to sit here. However, I am just not looking forward to actually falling asleep. Okay, let me take you back to the beginning...

A week or so ago, I was having awful sleep and I think it was because of my pillow. It had become very flat and didn't have much support to it. After a few nights of painful sleep I decided it was time to go out and buy a new pillow. I went and searched and decided on a memory foam pillow. I had heard great things about them and figured I'd try it out. So I take it home and the first thing I do is air it out and put a little white musk oil on it to rid it of that "factory" smell it had. That was done, now to actually sleep on it. The first night was little different and it was a bit awkward since I've never really been used to anything like that (you'll really have to try for yourself to understand) but I pushed on with it. By the third night I was thinking, hey this isn't so bad. THEN...I started having these dreams...and let me say, I haven't had a dream in a very long time. Not too sure why, but I haven't. So anyway, I started having these dreams that involved my children. Not your happy go lucky dreams either. The first on was about my son Jimmy. He was with me at home with some other family members when all of a sudden, my aunt brings out a baby. It was HIM! Jimmy! As a baby. Yet he was still sitting next to me, as the six year old that he is right now. She handed him to me and I became very sad. Sad that my little boy wasn't a baby anymore. I held him and he just stared at me lovingly the way he had when he was a baby. I could actually feel his hair in my fingertips. It felt the way it did when he was a baby. And I could smell. I smelled him crazily. He smelled so sweet the way he always had after a bath. I started to cry and I guess unknowingly, I was REALLY crying. I woke up bawling. It wasn't a bad dream...but it wasn't the happiest either. It was just strange. The next night, I went to bed on my new pillow and fell asleep quickly. Good I say. NO...it was not good. I started dreaming. This time, it was about my little girl, Breana. For some reason she magically had a twin sister. All I can really remember was her, and her "sister" playing outside and then one of them was gone. All of a sudden people were screaming. There was a HUGE (and I mean HUGE) coyote or wolf or something running around the town. So HUGE that I could see it CLEARLY from about a mile away. I frantically took Breana inside but realized that Breana #2 was missing. My stomach turned (and I could really feel it) and I automatically thought she was eaten by that huge dog thing. I ran inside the house freaking out only to find her asleep in her grandpa's bed. I hugged her tightly and then...I woke up. What the hell kind of dream is THAT?!?! So that morning wasn't all that pleasant either. Going on with my day until nightfall....I was a bit apprehensive on going to sleep being that these last two nights bothered me so much....I lied down anyway. It's not like I can really stay awake forever right? So to sleep I go. On this damn pillow. Dream time please just leave me alone. No....no, why would you leave me alone? You apparently like to torture my fragile mind don't you?! Again with the wretchedness of it all. This dream was bit more disturbing. I for some reason, was in a house that I had never seen before. I think I remember a cruise ship but I can't seem to be able to piece it together all that well so I'll just leave that out. I was in this house with some other people...we were wandering around until we met this woman who showed us to our rooms. We settled in our rooms when all of a sudden I heard screaming (again with the damn screaming) and I rushed out of the room into what looked like a main foyer. Nothing. Okay...I'll head back to my room. Screaming again! What the hell is going on?!?! Back to the foyer. Nothing. I'm getting a little annoyed with this now. On my way back to my room there was the woman. She looked at me with an evil stare. Then all I remember was running around crazily and climbing on top of rafters and beams trying to get away from this scary lady who I'm assuming was trying to kill me. I met a boy, who seemed to be running from her too. We frantically fled from the maniacal woman and ended up outside. We ran through stalks of whatever the hell it was and reached a lone payphone. He called the police and then.....I woke up. What IS all this bullshit?! I'm really not enjoying this. Not one freaking bit. Then of course...last but not least. Yesterday night. I'm actually laying there in my bed, staring at the ceiling, praying to God that I DON'T dream of anything. I would like to have one peaceful night where I just don't dream. And I thought insomnia was bad. I fall asleep inevitably and head off into this hell I call dreamland. This dream was once again about Breana. I remember her playing outside with someone...don't remember who...and she was being happy and joyful until something made her mad. Noah (my honey and her daddy) came out to find out what was wrong. She was MAD! Really mad. Then the dream moved into a weird basement thing that was outside our house (we don't have a basement) and Breana was being so horrible to her dad that he took her down to this basement. She had something strange attached to her finger (pinky finger to be exact). It looked like a little metal claw. I told Noah about it and he asked her what it was. She turned and looked at him with this horrid, demonic look and just screamed. Then she tried to stab him with it. I'm thinking she was trying to actually kill him. I yelled and grabbed her begging her to stop. She was not gonna stop, that's for sure. I heard this horrible beeping noise and for some reason it made her calm down. It was so loud and she apparently didn't like it. She stopped fighting and went in the corner of the room. The beeping was still going strong when I realized it was my alarm clock and it was time to wake the hell up! Thank God for that alarm otherwise she might have gone even crazier and my awful dream would have continued. So here I sit tonight. Pondering on sleep. I want to so badly but I really am afraid to go to bed. Is it the new pillow? Can a pillow even do that to you? I'd like to think not, but then again I'd like to think so. If tonight turns into what these other night have been then maybe I will re-think this memory foam and possibly even go back to my flat friend. At least he never gave me nightmares.


Cyndi said...

Your pillow packed more "memory" than the packaging declared.